Autopilot. I guess that’s where I’ve been?

No real need to report specifics on the last three years since you were there too, I assume. If not, congratulations? Since this blog was a general report on inactivity two years prior to the world pretty much shutting down, I’ll spare you the recap. Suffice to say, not much happened except my ass was parked in front of a computer and not out doing any of the things I initially started this blog to report on. There were attempts, but only in the way that one might try learning how to make bread. At first it seems sorta easy, but then afterwards you realize that your skills are a long way off and all that time and work ahead of you is maybe better focused on something a little less mentally taxing.

It’s definitely a road not taken situation though. In your head, you know that the time and work you put into all those things you know you should be doing for your physical and mental health is worth it in the end and you should take that road, but you rewrite the damn poem and your ass gets flat while wishing the time away thinking about how good freshly baked bread tastes.

To make light of it sounds like acceptance of the situation and a reluctance to change but I suppose that facing the flat-assed demons for what they are could be a step to starting. I honestly can’t remember, it’s been more than a few years since I’ve been faced with a “use it or lose it” decision staring me down but I guess it’s familiar; however, cozying up to the familiar is what got me here in the first place. On a positive note, I have rekindled a love of playing guitar and kept up with that on a regular basis. I always found it a really peaceful thing but mostly used it as a stress-reliever and let my actual skill progression plateau so that I’m more of a noodler just walking aimlessly through scales, yet another thing where I let the comfort factor supplant the hard work factor. Dammit, I’m old and things are hard.

Everything now is “twenty years ago, this happened” and well, twenty years ago, there was a lot less going on in my life and damn if it ain’t hard to find the time without keeping those new priorities ahead of it all. So, the basic approach either needs to be adjusted or the idea of comfort does. Either way, a plan to turn “get up off the couch,” into “just do it,” and then ultimately “do epic shit,” can begin.